It’s 1am and I’m writing this from Batanes. Your dad and I are here for an engagement shoot and wedding. This has been one of the most wonderful experiences we’ve ever had, but it is our third day away from you and we miss you terribly. We will be home before lunch though, and are both so excited to see you.
You’ve been quiet during our many phone calls, but Ninay and Grandpa are saying you call out for me often during the day, and that hurts a little bit. I’m sorry, love. I never want to be away for too long, so I try to limit our out-of-town jobs that keep us away for two nights or more. I only say yes to the ones that I feel would enrich us in ways that would benefit not only our work but us as people. Still, I always want to be with you.
This is one of the loveliest places your father and I have ever been to. It’s breathtaking and magical. Your father and I went hiking at Marlboro Hills, and we were the only two souls around. It was an incredible experience. It was just the two of us, an unbelievable expanse of the lushest greens, and the most stunning view at the edge of the hill, just before it drops off. The wind was blowing so strong, I could feel it wrapping itself around me. We held hands and stood there for some time, taking it all in. The moment was heartbreakingly beautiful, and I loved your father even more then. I can’t imagine ever feeling this way about anybody else.
We went to Boulder Beach and for a few minutes, he and I had the entire place to ourselves, too. All I could hear was the crashing of the waves, and the pounding of my heart in my ears. This place gets me on a visceral level.
There’s a tiny little ache in me that wants to stay here longer. It’s just so beautiful and peaceful and the land is rich with stories. I could see myself spending my days just sitting on that hill and writing. I could see myself taking pictures here every day. But this is not my home. Home is where you are, and where you’ll be is the best place your father and I can care for you. Whenever I’m away and you miss me, hug my pillow and remember I’m coming home soon. My heart is always rushing back to you.
I’m looking forward to the day when you’re old enough to appreciate this place. I will probably want to tie your torso with a rope so you don’t fall off and roll down the hill. Don’t laugh, I’m half-serious. My world would shatter if anything bad happened to you. Always take care. Do brilliant things and explore the world, but always come home to me better, wiser, and in one piece.
Then tell me stories. I can’t wait to hear them.