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The Best Thing

Dear Corwin,

You turned 6 months old the other day. I baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and chocolate cake. Anyone who knows me would laugh at the thought. The kitchen really isn’t my thing. To be fair though, they were yummy. I think I want to learn how to cook and bake now. In a few years, I’ll be packing your snacks and sending you off to school. I’m going to be the mom that tucks little notes in a Batman lunchbox.

Sometime during the past month, you decided to sleep in your own bed. I knew we would get there someday, but I wasn’t expecting it to be that soon. I didn’t know our last night of co-sleeping was going to be the last. I was hoping to hold on to your littleness a bit longer. I’m hoping you’d want to sleep beside us sometimes, during special occasions. Mother’s day is coming up soon. 🙂

I miss you. I miss falling asleep next to you, breathing you in. I miss waking up in the middle of the night to find you turned to me and holding on to my arm with your limbs. I miss waking up in the middle of the night to find you and your father all snuggled up. I used to take pictures of you two snuggling while you were asleep. I miss waking up to your coos and your little hand on my face.

You sleep a meter away from us now. It’s not the worst thing. I get to snuggle with your father again. I’ve missed that. I’m also incredibly proud of your independence, and find it adorable that my little boy needs his own space now. You wake up early, peek at us through the bars of your crib, and you stay in bed and coo at your mobile and/or stare off into space for about half an hour before you decide it’s time to wake us up. Then you make some funny, loud noises while knocking on the wood to get our attention. When we wake up and look at you, you smile and laugh. You are the best thing about my mornings, and yes, even when you start them before the sun comes up.

Love,
Mommy

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