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Monthly Archives: January 2012

My favorite part of the day is when he stops in the middle of feeding, leans back and looks at me intently, and softly, earnestly coos with as much love as his little body can muster.

Dear Corwin,

You kept us up ‘till 4:30am today. If you ever want to know what it’s like to be holding on desperately to the last shreds of your sanity while half asleep, have a child.

You’re such a sweet little boy though, when you’re not playing it fast and loose with my mental health. You’re incredibly gassy at night, for reasons that shall forever escape me, and you either refuse to poop or do it too much. You wake up smiling and laughing though, and this somehow makes up for all of it.

You’ve always been animated, but you’re even more so now. You coo and gurgle with much insistence, as if you’re saying Very Important Things that I should pay close attention to. And I do. Your dad fascinates you to no end, and you prefer him for play. But nothing comforts you like I do, and I love that. You hold on to me with your little hands while you feed, and it melts my heart so completely.

I saw a video about the language of babies and it has helped us tremendously these past three days. “Neh” means you’re hungry. “Eh” means you have to burp. “Owh” means you’re sleepy. I repeat the word while taking care of your need and the delighted look on your face whenever you realize I actually understand you now is funny.

Your doctor remains pleased with your development, saying you’re quite advanced. Full range of neck movement, and you recognize colors way beyond RBW, among other things. We’re managing your atopic dermatitis by eliminating everything in the world I love to eat. This makes me sad, but I’ll live. I’ll get so fat when I stop breastfeeding.

I have to go to work now. It hurts like hell to leave you.


P.S. Please stop scratching your face.